The relationship went down in a blizzard of “f-you!” texts and my ultimately blocking him on my phone. Now, two years later, in the lobby of the building that houses my therapist’s office, there he was.
“Hey! You gonna walk by and not say hello?” he demanded.
I was hoping to slink by unnoticed, but Frank caught me in a hug and kiss.
Frank was the impetus for my getting my ass to AA. Spinless when we dated, I allowed myself to fall into a vortex of excessive eating and drinking. By the end, I was a fat, sloppy mess and couldn’t stand myself.
“I don’t know why she doesn’t leave him!” I heard many of women snap whenever the Anthony Weiner’s sexting scandal came up in conversation.
This “holier than thou” attitude toward Huma Abedin often sprouted from the mouths of women I consider smart, sophisticated go-getters, yet were one time or another involved with questionable characters themselves. I’m talking about women who were with players, hustlers and drunks, or who allowed themselves to be humiliated by their significant other’s behavior because they insisted “we have a great connection.” One would assume these ladies, upon noting the common thread, be oozing with sympathy when it’s the exact opposite. They’re often even more critical of the Huma’s of the world.
When people hear I’m a single mom, curiosity often gets the best of them and I’m immediately bombarded with questions about my daughter’s baby daddy. I’ve been through the drill so many times I can recite the questions by heart. It goes something like this:
Acquaintance: “Is your daughter’s father still around?”
Me: “Yes, he lives across town.”
Acquaintance, assuming that all baby daddies fall off the grid: “Does he still take her?”
Me: “Yes, but it’s complicated.”
Acquaintance: “But does HE take her?”
Me: “Yea, but….”
Acquaintance: “No!” shaking their head, “All that matters is that he’s still involved!”
Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan has worked with successful women who have a hot career, but a chilly love life since 2002. She believes that love is everyone’s destiny and has helped thousands of women overcome obstacles to attracting love. She is also the author of five books including her newest Is He the One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong.
For this installment of “Take 5 Q&A,” I asked Ronnie about her work as a dating coach, common mistakes women make when dating and how after years of singlehood she met her husband.
What exactly is a dating coach? Can you explain briefly how you help your clients find their soul mate, and, if possible, share a success story?
As a certified dating coach, I help successful women find love. We focus on how to attract and meet high-quality men with easy, proven methods and assess their beliefs to uncover potential obstacles to love. Next, we’ll create a Dating Action Plan to meet plenty of men and I share my radically simplified way to understand men to minimize frustration and angst and avoid dating men who waste your time.
In a bold move, I recently turned down a date with a seemingly nice guy.
As a professional people pleaser, asserting myself, drawing boundaries and pushing back are skills I’ve never acquired. The result has been a lifetime of limping through bad dates and so-so relationships because I either ignored the red flags that screamed “unavailable” and “problems,” or simply couldn’t say, “No.”
At this stage in my dating career, I thought I had heard every plausible, lame excuse for ending a relationship.
“I don’t see this as working.”
Yup, heard it. Many times, in fact.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Standard line, but I appreciate the intent to be kind and gentle.
“I need to focus on my career.”
In today’s economy who doesn’t?
But recently someone superseded the ridiculous and unloaded the granddaddy of reasons for a breakup: “You watch Oprah.”
Posted in My So Called Romantic Life, Rants & Ramblings
Tagged Dating, Dr. Seuss, Gandhi, Hank Aaron, New York City, Oprah, relationships, romance, Single mom, television
From helping a bitter divorcée forgive a philandering ex to teaching a young co-ed how to set boundaries are just some of the issues that self and relationship coach Jennifer Twardowski tackles at work.
Based in Northern California, Jennifer works with clients worldwide, helping them to identify and remove the blocks that prevent them from living their full potential. She has been featured in scores of media outlets, including The Huffington, BeliefNet, Your Tango and Cosmopolitan.
Here she shares the story that brought her to coaching, along with a couple client success stories. To learn more or to work one-on-one with her, go to http://jennifertwardowski.com. For a sample of her work, sign up for her Guided Meditation.