The relationship went down in a blizzard of “f-you!” texts and my ultimately blocking him on my phone. Now, two years later, in the lobby of the building that houses my therapist’s office, there he was.
“Hey! You gonna walk by and not say hello?” he demanded.
I was hoping to slink by unnoticed, but Frank caught me in a hug and kiss.
Frank was the impetus for my getting my ass to AA. Spinless when we dated, I allowed myself to fall into a vortex of excessive eating and drinking. By the end, I was a fat, sloppy mess and couldn’t stand myself.
Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan has worked with successful women who have a hot career, but a chilly love life since 2002. She believes that love is everyone’s destiny and has helped thousands of women overcome obstacles to attracting love. She is also the author of five books including her newest Is He the One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong.
For this installment of “Take 5 Q&A,” I asked Ronnie about her work as a dating coach, common mistakes women make when dating and how after years of singlehood she met her husband.
What exactly is a dating coach? Can you explain briefly how you help your clients find their soul mate, and, if possible, share a success story?
As a certified dating coach, I help successful women find love. We focus on how to attract and meet high-quality men with easy, proven methods and assess their beliefs to uncover potential obstacles to love. Next, we’ll create a Dating Action Plan to meet plenty of men and I share my radically simplified way to understand men to minimize frustration and angst and avoid dating men who waste your time.
In a bold move, I recently turned down a date with a seemingly nice guy.
As a professional people pleaser, asserting myself, drawing boundaries and pushing back are skills I’ve never acquired. The result has been a lifetime of limping through bad dates and so-so relationships because I either ignored the red flags that screamed “unavailable” and “problems,” or simply couldn’t say, “No.”
At this stage in my dating career, I thought I had heard every plausible, lame excuse for ending a relationship.
“I don’t see this as working.”
Yup, heard it. Many times, in fact.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Standard line, but I appreciate the intent to be kind and gentle.
“I need to focus on my career.”
In today’s economy who doesn’t?
But recently someone superseded the ridiculous and unloaded the granddaddy of reasons for a breakup: “You watch Oprah.”
Posted in My So Called Romantic Life, Rants & Ramblings
Tagged Dating, Dr. Seuss, Gandhi, Hank Aaron, New York City, Oprah, relationships, romance, Single mom, television
Note: This piece was originally published on the Good Men Project
Dear Divorced Dad,
Of the many women you’ll encounter after you reenter the dating world, chances are it will be someone like myself, the single mom, to whom you’ll feel the strongest pull. My situation will strike as familiar. There’s the added bonus that I bring to the relationship a little girl who will absolutely adore you. For this reason alone you need to be honest about your real intentions. Is it romance or an attempt to recapture the family and all that you lost in your divorce?
As I stood in my daughter’s father’s country house listening to him make small talk with my beau Lawrence, I was speechless. Where is the man prone to angry outbursts and hurling insults?
On March 6, 2005, a nervous wreck, I fled an abusive relationship with a sick 11-month in tow. The next decade, fueled by Jose’s rage and my daughter’s rare medical condition that kept me stuck in a revolving door of tests and doctor appointments, was hell.
I was aghast. Right there on York Avenue, on a sidewalk swarming with New York Presbyterian Hospital doctors on break and returning campers, I witnessed my “I’ll friend-anyone who talks to me” 10-year-old ‘dis a little redhead boy.
Posted in Mommyhood
Tagged Abraham Lincoln, camp, Dating, FDR Drive, kids, Love, New York City, New York Presbyterian Hospital, parenting, Single mom, Taylor Swift