The relationship went down in a blizzard of “f-you!” texts and my ultimately blocking him on my phone. Now, two years later, in the lobby of the building that houses my therapist’s office, there he was.
“Hey! You gonna walk by and not say hello?” he demanded.
I was hoping to slink by unnoticed, but Frank caught me in a hug and kiss.
Frank was the impetus for my getting my ass to AA. Spinless when we dated, I allowed myself to fall into a vortex of excessive eating and drinking. By the end, I was a fat, sloppy mess and couldn’t stand myself.
At this stage in my dating career, I thought I had heard every plausible, lame excuse for ending a relationship.
“I don’t see this as working.”
Yup, heard it. Many times, in fact.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Standard line, but I appreciate the intent to be kind and gentle.
“I need to focus on my career.”
In today’s economy who doesn’t?
But recently someone superseded the ridiculous and unloaded the granddaddy of reasons for a breakup: “You watch Oprah.”
Posted in My So Called Romantic Life, Rants & Ramblings
Tagged Dating, Dr. Seuss, Gandhi, Hank Aaron, New York City, Oprah, relationships, romance, Single mom, television
What started out as chitchat in the elevator spilled out into the hallway. Somewhere between our kids and the weather, the conversation took a sharp left and my neighbor began venting about his marital problems. Sex, of lack of, topped the list.
Most would have walked then, but I suffered from “friendly ear” syndrome and stayed put. Worse, I nodded.
Earlier this year I dated a man who seemed perfect in every way until one night at a cozy downtown bistro he unleashed a tirade about his ex-girlfriend’s two adopted children.
“Oh, gawd, they were horrible,” he wailed. “I suggested she send them back to Russia.”
He snickered. I cringed.
Taking relationship advice from a single friend is comparable to asking a blind man for directions. Instead of relying on your equally miserable single girlfriends for counsel, seek out happily married sistas and grandma-types. Having succeeded at the dating game, they have great insight and intuition when it comes to men and relationships.
My BFF, who has been married 32 years and is also a grandma, is and my go-to person when I have a “dating crises.” With no book or talk show to her credit, her pearls of wisdom are always right on and can compete with Dr. Phil or John Gray any day.
Given the choice between looks and intelligence, choose the guy with the brains. Intellects come with good books, so not only will you get more a.m. bathroom time, but a well-stocked library.
Also, think about it, do you really want to date someone more attractive than you?
Not Googling your date is a bit like driving without a seat belt. Always Google. Always.