The Tale Of The Sticky Finger Babysitter

She’s a Raphael angel personified. But behind that sweet, oval face encased in long brown wavy locks, is a whip smart, shrewd kleptomaniac.

My Stuyvesant High School graduate babysitter, a Lolita type complete with an overbearing Russian mother, got busted shoplifting in Whole Foods, and while on the job, no less.

I heard this not from the aspiring neuroscientist, but Savannah, who despite promises to stay mum, told me 2 minutes after the girl was out the door. Her dad, our doorman and her entire third grade class soon followed.

Was I shocked? Not really. People are complicated. If anything, there was a sense of “Ah, you’re not so perfect after all,” for the couple of times she coped an attitude and chastised me for my parenting.

“Savannah, needs to eat more vegetables!” she once snapped, while another time muttering under her breath, “I don’t need this,” when there was confusion between her and another Stuy high school babysitter over the keys. Advanced math didn’t faze her, but minor details and she quickly became unglued.

“Oh my gawd! What did you do?” I asked Savannah as she gleefully shared the highlight of her day.

Images of Savannah and her pint-sized babysitter being booked flashed through my head.

“I just gave the security guard my pouty face, Mommy,” she said, mimicking a sad dog.

The pouty face obviously worked. And, 18-year-old leg. The babysitter has a penchant for short shorts.

I now wonder if I was too focused on her Stuyvesant education and overlooked the red flags. An attractive Russian girl with attitude, tight provocative clothes, high intelligence. Is she…..?

Not my problem. She graduated from Stuy and is now at McGill. Let the Canadian Mounties deal with her.

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