My Expertise As A Mother

Some women are just natural mothers.  They’re great at making arts and crafts.  Can invent fun games to play.  Sew Halloween costumes.  I have yet to master a single one of these skills.

There is, however, one thing that I lord over other moms: losing my daughter in public places.  In fact, my reputation is such that when I step into my neighborhood Whole Foods, it’s a bit like when Chris Everett would step onto Center Court at the U.S. Open.  Guards come and greet me and clerks point me out.

Embarrassing to say the least.

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