The only real difference between little girls and grown women is the latter is better at concealing their nastiness, as I noted during a recent tussle between Savannah and her friend Ashley. To illustrate how females will verbally jockey for Queen Bee position, I provided a recap of the dispute, followed by an adult version, had the girls been 30 years older.
Account of perceived ‘dis: child version
Savannah, convinced Ashley is deliberately blocking her view of the TV, flies into a full-blown meltdown, which includes such show stopping moments as her flailing herself on my bed and screaming she’s “never wants to see that girl’s face ever again. Never.” Note: It’s not Ashley she doesn’t want see. It’s “her face.”
Ashley’s retaliates to Savannah’s Declaration of A Catfight by squinting her eyes, pointing her finger toward the bed, and saying. “Oh, yea, well you eat too much junk food.” Yeow.
It’s another 20 minutes of piercing screams and pillow thumping before Savannah stops, and it’s only after we leave the apartment and I buy the girls bagels. The carbs and crème cheese work like magic. Ten minutes later the BFFs are back laughing and hugging.
Adult version of the perceived ‘dis
Jane, convinced Mary deliberately didn’t invite her to a spur-of-the-moment playdate, spirals into a deep depression while bingeing on chocolate chip cookies. She retaliates by gossiping and spreading nasty rumors about her friend.
“Mary has really put on a lot of weight since she got married,” she tells fellow moms. Mary responds to the gossip by cold-shouldering Jane at a school function.
It’s takes a trip to Tiffany’s for Jane to stop obsessing about the perceived ‘dis. Feeling smug about her new purchase, she tells Mary “she looks great” next time they bump into each other and suggests they “do lunch.”
Who says Mary’s fat?