Jimmy: Mr. Long Island

When I first started online dating I had an open border policy.  After all, who can say where, when or with whom love will strike?  But, after  several dreadful encounters with guys from the “Island,” I discovered they are unsophisticated and notorious for cancelling.

Jimmy, a “transportation supervisor” from Massapequa, would be my personal Waterloo.  “If we hit it off, we can hang out all day,” he wrote in his e-mail, an idea I quickly squashed.  Brunch yes; an all day affair while there’s a shoe sales at Macy, not.

I suspected a mismatch when he asked on the phone: “Do you see a lot of celebrities in the CI-TY?” but optimistically plowed forward, suggesting various places we could meet for brunch.  Then came the show stopping e-mail.  When the reality of meeting a real, live Manhattanite and having to leave the “Island” set in, he panic and wrote:

“I would like to meet you..but for safty [sic] reasons for both of us I would like to meet in a very open public place…I’m sorry but I hear of too many things that happen to people and the city is a wild place…i love it but I’m also very aware of the dangers… I need to make me feel that I’m not coming in to get in trouble…. “

A diner isn’t a public place?  Now how many miles is Long Island from Manhattan?

2 responses to “Jimmy: Mr. Long Island

  1. OMYGOD! I lived my teenager and few married years on “the Guyland” as the NY Times once called it in a very insightful, long article, and know exactly whereof you speak. These few paragraphs capture LI boys–they are all boys–better than a snapshot. Stick to the men in the CI-TY, LOL. Those that aren’t gay, that is.

  2. This guy was a real “catch”, lol. All you can do is laugh about it.

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